10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT RAISING A DIFFERENTLY WIRED CHILD
8: YOUR MINDSET IS KEY Transcript
At the end of my last video, I encouraged you to be curious and open minded. What I was really talking about is mindset. And mindset deserves its own video because the way you think about parenting a differently wired child is going to affect how it feels for you, and as a result how your child is going to feel. This is really at the heart of all of my work at Tilt Parenting; it’s important that we as parents and caregivers do our own deep inner work to address our fears and concerns and other tricky emotions that are wrapped up in our parenting life. We need to do that work on ourselves so that we can show up for who our child is.
In my book Differently Wired, I talk about parenting from a place of possibility rather than fear. And I acknowledge that many of us, perhaps most of us, find ourselves spending a majority of time in that fear place.
We can find ourselves worrying about just about anything, most often some form of future unknowns. But fear is the very thing that keeps us stuck. Fear creates a culture of apprehension and anxiety in our families, and affects the way our children, many of whom are already highly sensitive and anxious, feel about themselves. Operating from fear leads to more limited thinking and fearful energy, which both we and our kids will feel, and it will create a barrier to our child uncovering and experiencing their extraordinary possibilities.
So we want to do our own work to actively cultivate a mindset of curiosity and possibility. I’m not saying this is easy to do, and if this resonates with you, I encourage you to explore the resources on Tilt Parenting and in my book that are very much designed to help parents do this work.
But one way to begin doing this, even today, is to just notice when you’re feeling stressed or anxious or worried or afraid about some aspect of your child’s life or a future. And once you notice it, try to take a pause, take a breath, and remind yourself that your child’s story is not written yet. Tell yourself that no one can predict the future. And see if you can shift that stress or anxiety into curiosity.
You can even write down or say “I’m curious to know how this is going to unfold” or “I’m curious to know what this is going to look like.” Because if there’s one thing I know about our kids, they will keep changing, and they will keep surprising us. Our job is to show up for who they are right now, and hold on for the ride.
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Tilt Parenting, LLC is an educational resource, podcast, consultancy, and community with a focus on positively shifting the way neurodifferences in children are perceived, experienced, and supported, and supporting parents raising differently wired™ kids so these exceptional kids can thrive in their schools, in their families, and in their lives. It was founded by Debbie Reber in 2016.
© 2016 Deborah Reber