This week I’m talking with two guests — Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright, psychotherapists, partners at The Happy Sleeper, and co-authors of the new book, Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting DilemmaHeather and Julie have a lot of ideas about how to handle difficult situations in a way that’s respectful of the child and supports their social and emotional development. Today they share some of them with us, including their ALP (attune, limit, and problem solve) approach, how we can move through situations involving big or physical behavior, and things to consider regarding using rewards and punishments as tools for discipline. As I say at the end of the interview, I felt calmer just in having this conversation—I hope listening does the same for you.


About Heather and Julie: Heather Turgeon, MFT and Julie Wright, MFT are psychotherapists who specialize in sleep, as well as communication and setting limits with empathy. They are the authors of the top selling book, The Happy Sleeper, and Now Say This. Based in LA and NYC, they work with families all over the world.



  • An overview of the 3 styles of discipline—permission, authoritarian, authoritative
  • What ALP is (Attune, Limit, Problem Solve) and how this method can be applied consistently to many different types of situations
  • The power of listening and empathy
  • Strategies for remembering to take the “pause” and get grounded before responding in a difficult moment
  • The importance of “repairing” in the aftermath of a challenging situation
  • How to set limits in a respectful way when our children are acting out physically
  • The benefits of creating family agreements
  • Heather and Julie’s thoughts on rewards and punishments






Read through the whole episode!






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