This week I’m talking with two guests — Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright, psychotherapists, partners at The Happy Sleeper, and co-authors of the new book, Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma. Heather and Julie have a lot of ideas about how to handle difficult situations in a way that’s respectful of the child and supports their social and emotional development. Today they share some of them with us, including their ALP (attune, limit, and problem solve) approach, how we can move through situations involving big or physical behavior, and things to consider regarding using rewards and punishments as tools for discipline. As I say at the end of the interview, I felt calmer just in having this conversation—I hope listening does the same for you.
About Heather and Julie: Heather Turgeon, MFT and Julie Wright, MFT are psychotherapists who specialize in sleep, as well as communication and setting limits with empathy. They are the authors of the top selling book, The Happy Sleeper, and Now Say This. Based in LA and NYC, they work with families all over the world.
THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
- An overview of the 3 styles of discipline—permission, authoritarian, authoritative
- What ALP is (Attune, Limit, Problem Solve) and how this method can be applied consistently to many different types of situations
- The power of listening and empathy
- Strategies for remembering to take the “pause” and get grounded before responding in a difficult moment
- The importance of “repairing” in the aftermath of a challenging situation
- How to set limits in a respectful way when our children are acting out physically
- The benefits of creating family agreements
- Heather and Julie’s thoughts on rewards and punishments
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
- Now Say This: The Right Words to Solve Every Parenting Dilemma by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright
- The Happy Sleeper: The Science-Backed Guide to Helping Your Baby Get a Good Night’s Sleep by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright
- Which is Better, Rewards or Punishments? Neither (New York Times)
- Alfie Kohn on Practicing Unconditional Parenting (podcast episode)
- Sharon Saline on What Our ADHD Kids Wish We Knew (podcast episode)
THANKS SO MUCH FOR LISTENING!
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