Differently Wired 7-Day Challenge: Day 5

Welcome to Day 5 of the Differently Wired 7-Day Challenge

I hope you were able to find a bright spot yesterday…maybe even more than one! Today’s TILT is super straightforward.

Today I’m going to ask you to internalize this phrase: My child would do better if he (or she) could.

Say it with me: My child would do better if s/he could.

This little 8-word phrase, which is adapted from Dr. Ross Greene’s belief that “Kids do well if they can,” instantly shifts the meaning behind pretty much everything your child does that feels hard and difficult.

I don’t know about you, but there have been many, many, many times over the past 12 years where the thought that Asher could have made a better choice if he really tried or that if he wanted to do he could have been less disruptive in school has crossed my mind…..where I’ve thought his behavior and actions were designed to make my life harder.

But when I truly embraced and committed to the meaning behind this phrase — he would do better if he could — I was able to remind myself that a) this isn’t about me, and b) he is lacking the skills he needs to do anything different right now.

It’s really that simple.

Your Challenge:

Your challenge for today is to commit this phrase—he would do better if he could OR she would do better if she could—to memory. Perhaps write it down somewhere. And when you find yourself feeling annoyed with your child for something he or she has done, recall this phrase, take it to heart, and notice how quickly your thinking can shift.

That’s all for today! We only have two more days left in the challenge… I hope you are noticing subtle changes in the way you’re feeling. See you tomorrow!