In this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I talk with Anders Ronnau, a master coach, hypnotherapist, trainer, and writer, and the ADHD coach behind the Transforming ADHD Movement. Anders is the leading ADHD coach in Denmark, and for the past seven years has been teaching both parenting programs and been an ADHD coach trainer. He recently launched his online community and business, Transforming ADHD.
Anders has a unique approach to working with his clients, who are anywhere from six years old to adults, and I was really intrigued to learn more about his work and find out what its implications are for our children. His focus is on development his client’s cognitive skills and behaviors to help them be better at managing their time, focus, and temperament, as well as rebuilding their self-worth.
About Anders: Anders Ronnau is fiercely committed to helping children, teenagers, and adults transform their ADHD through cognitive enhancement, and inspire them to become extra-ordinary with their unique gifts and talents. His focus is on developing his clients’ cognitive skills, in order to help them become better at managing their time, focus and temper, as well as rebuilding their self-worth. He works with clients from 6 years old and up. Only recently has he translated his work into English as articles, videos, and online courses. You can find a special video for TiLT Parenting listeners along with a bunch of free resources at http://TransformingADHD.com/TiLT
THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
- A look at whether or not positive behavior systems work in the long-term for kids with ADH
- How to gain access to the inner world of a child
- How “externalization” helps change behavior
- Why a differently-wired person’s inner negative self-talk is their biggest hurdle as they get older
- Ander’s tips for things parents can do at home to help their kids
- How the magic question—What were you trying to do?—allows us to reach out with curiosity instead of blame or anger
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
- Transforming ADHD (Ander’s website)
This episode was amazing! Such an insightful guest. Thank you so much 🙂
So glad you enjoyed it 🙂
I am so grateful for this podcast and especially this episode! Both the externalization approach and the assumption of positive intention informed a recent conversation with my 7 yo son about a challenging behavior that was occurring at school. It was the very first time I was able to get him to take responsibility for a behavior that he felt shame about and engage in a problem solving conversation. Initially, he totally denied doing anything. I was able to say, “I bet there is a part of you that wishes you hadn’t done it, because it upset people you care about. But we are all complex people and I bet, at the same time, that, when someone does that, there must be a part of it that’s exciting too. What do you think might be exciting about it?” And then came a flood about why he’d done it — because he’d seen a classmate do the same thing and their classmates roared with laughter. Aha! A desire for positive attention from peers and making friends laugh. Now THERE are some desires we can problem solve and build skills around! AND he totally experienced me as an ally in navigating this tricky ground! AND he felt supported and accepted for who he is (while still recognizing that the behavior is not gonna work). Also the bit towards the end about their self identity as a “bad kid” because of all the frustration they come up against. So heart breaking and illuminating. I’m so grateful for this. THANK YOU!
What a wonderful message…thank you so much for sharing, Jessica <3 Great job on the turn around and a great reminder for all of us to keep asking questions and be curious...there's always a reason why they do what they do.